I really think I should stop putting the author's name after my blog titles.... Ryan has only chimed in once. :) Maybe I'll just let you know if he decides he has something to say. Believe it or not, it could happen. He's been more talkative lately. But more on that in a minute.
I have wanted to blog for a while now, but have felt the task more than I was up for. Yes, I should update some of my followers on the cuteness of my little girls, because I know you like to hear what they are up to. Ryleigh is finished with swimming lessons until she decides to put her face in the water and loves having preschool three days a week. Ashtyn is into baby dolls and "reading." She sits with a book and says a bunch of words, with about every other one being "Mommy." I love my girls, even when they drive me crazy fighting over one of the 800 crayons we seems to have all over the family room. :)
But back to the writer's block... I have just been overwhelmed by my feelings about everything. Sometimes you just feel like there's so much going on that you aren't sure it can be put into words. I think I'll feel better after a good cleansing cry.... where can I schedule that in?
I am in a season where I am aware of God's presence, but not really sure of what He's up to these days. But then He sends a few signals and it all starts to come into focus.
I am aware that I am in a desert season, but that sometimes that's where we need to be for a time. A desert does not mean God is not there... I think it means He's preparing me for the next big thing. Uh oh. Am I up for another big thing? The last big thing has been a bit more than I bargained for... and it landed me here in the desert. Either way, I have no say. I am in the desert, and I wait, seeking only more of God and His presence, not worrying about where we're going or when we'll get there. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
I have become aware that there is too much of me and not enough of God. I am getting in the way. I need less of me, myself, and I and more of Him. It's just not about me.
While I don't see God's immediate work in my life, I realize I am blessed to witness His work in my husband in so many ways. He is speaking to Ryan and speaking to me through Ryan. That hasn't happened in a long time. It's refreshing in so many ways. God expresses His love for me in new ways when He speaks through Ryan.
I have learned to stop looking for God's direction and just to seek His heart. I just need to spend more time in His presence. When it's time to move, He will provide the direction. But sometimes, we just need to rest in the desert. We don't think of the desert as a resting place, more of a place to get through as quickly as possible. And while I am not particularly enjoying my time here, there are blessings to take note of. And maybe I will realize this is a time of rest. There are always things to be grateful for, even in the desert.
