Wow. Really hearing Satan's voice lately. You know, in those ugly lies he tells us, those voices that can really get us down and tear us apart. I'm starting to see how someone could just give up and give in and believe what they hear. I'm fighting an uphill battle. I know it is the voice of the Father of Lies, and I know why he's saying what he's saying. But some days, it's really hard not to just believe him and give up.
Ryan and I have always believed that marriage mentoring and counseling are powerful and necessary things and should be an important aspect of living the Christian life together with brothers and sisters in Christ. The longer we are married, the more important we believe it is to enter into a mentoring relationship from the beginning of a marriage. Ryan has a degree in marriage and family studies and has served as a trained lay-counselor before. We served as marriage mentors to engaged couples at our last church home. So when we were recently tapped to enter into the marriage ministry at our current church, we shouldn't have been surprised. But the devil hates to see marriages strong and thriving and being unified in Christ. I think marriages are one of his top targets when it comes to what he'd most like to destroy. The destruction of a marriage brings so much hurt and pain and isolation into so many people's lives. So as this opportunity has come up, so have his attacks increased.
Maybe this is sensitive stuff. Maybe I shouldn't put it out there. But maybe the only way for me to hear the Truth louder than the lies is to bring the darkness into the light. So forgive me if you are offended by my honesty. My sister and her husband recently went through a divorce. You don't need to know any more than that. But just as I saw the devil at work as he tore apart the marriage, I now see how he is using it against me. "How can you help anyone? You are a failure!!! You couldn't save your own sister from the pain and destruction. You failed them, you let them down, you didn't do enough!" The convictions of failure are so loud. And then they attack again from the other side. "Are you kidding? Your marriage is not exactly worthy of replication." And then he proceeds to list all the ways I've failed Ryan and the children, all the ways we struggle with balancing home, family, and business. I'm a failure from every side.
I know this is the work of the devil. I know they are his lies designed to shut me down and shut me up. But I also know the Truth. The Truth is bigger and greater than the lies, but in this world, the lies can be louder. We must fight back, or be assured it is a losing battle. There are things I can and should do better in my own marriage, and with my children. Did I do everything I should have in my sister's situation? The one thing I am sure of is that I made mistakes. But I also know that the marriage was not mine to save or to destroy. I tried to help, but I am not responsible for what happened.
Get behind me, Satan. I will not believe your lies. I am loved by the Creator of the Universe who has a plan and a purpose for my life, a plan for the successes and the failures, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to use my life for His glory.
