It's hard to describe the past year for me. As I read over last year's letter, I noticed we referred to it as a roller coaster. As I look back on 2009, I can tell you that 2008 was a kiddie coaster! At least for me! I think I was caught up in the excitement of all the newness of the adventure in 2008. Now reality has hit, and I've discovered reality is going to take far more adjusting than I had initially thought.
The high's of 2009 have been my precious girls. I am often overwhelmed, sometimes by the girls and their antics, but more often by my sheer love for them. I didn't know I could love two little people so much! They bring such joy to my life, and even though they drive me crazy some days, I could not possibly love them more! I'm sure you other parents can relate. I am amazed that two children with the same parents can be so different. Their personalities were summed up one evening as we sat in the family room after dinner. Ryleigh looked at Ryan and said, "I want to wrestle," and proceded to jump on top of him. Ashtyn walked over to me and said, "I want to snuggle." I just laughed. Ryleigh is more of the daddy's girl and much more into active play. Ashtyn is my little snuggle-bug and would rather rock her babies and read to Monkey than run around after her sister (although she does that too).
Sometimes Ryleigh is annoyed with Ashtyn always following her around and trying to do everything she does, but mostly, she relishes it. She loves being the "teacher" and tells Ashtyn, "Oh Ashy, I'm so proud of you!" and gives her big hugs when she does something. They do occasionally fight over toys, but more often than not, they just love being together and being sisters. The other morning we were getting breakfast ready, and Ashtyn looked up at Ryleigh and said, "I love you, Ryleigh!" So sweet!
And as I reflect on my love for my girls, I am then humbled by the love my Father has for me. A love that we prepare to celebrate in the gift of His one and only Son. Because I know that my Heavenly Father alone knows all of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and that He still loves me even more than I love my little girls. Wow. I pray that you are celebrating the real reason for the season this year, that you know the person of Jesus and understand the gift that He is, and that no matter what circumstances life has dealt you at the moment, you know that because of His gift, you will enjoy all eternity in the presence of a Holy God. That is the Hope I cling to, even as I ride this roller coaster.
A year ago, we thought we had finally found a church home, but after spending several months there, we felt the need to move on. So we spent the summer and fall once again church shopping. We ask you to continue to pray for this issue in our lives, as it has presented a challenge in our quest to call this home. We believe in God's plan and His purpose, but this has been a struggle.
Speaking of home... In July, we moved from our little carriage house in East Greenville to a home just across the fields from the farm. Moving twice in 12 months is not my idea of a good time and made me realize just how much "stuff" we have. Ugh! On the positive side, we all now have bedroom doors, a bigger and nicer kitchen, and a brand new washer, dryer, and gas grill (thank you, Mom and Dad!). The closeness to the farm allows Ryan to come home for lunch sometimes and for quick trips to the preschool or to Grandma and Poppa's house.
I joined the Montgomery County Concert Band last fall and continue to perform with them. It's been a crazy year there, as our conductor was diagnosed with cancer after our spring concert. The good news is that, after missing the summer season, he was able to return to conduct about half of our November concert. Several of us were given the opportunity, in his absence, to rehearse and conduct pieces of our choosing over the summer, so that was a lot of fun. It felt good to get back on the podium, although I had never been in front of a group of adults before, especially a group mostly older than myself.
To help fill that musical void I've experienced since leaving Virginia, I was also able to take on a part-time job this fall working with the Upper Perkiomen High School Marching Band. Working a few days a week, I assisted with the young, fairly inexperienced program (half the students were rookie marchers). While there was lots of frustration and hurdles to overcome, especially during the first half of the season (one of those was rain nearly every weekend!), we ended up having a great Fall, and I am excited to start again next summer. I am grateful for the opportunity, and I know I was able to grow a lot and realize more of what I am capable of as a teacher. Sometimes you need a fresh start, a new situation, something away from the ordinary routine, to realize how much you've learned.
Another subject I've continued to learn a lot about is the journey toward a "greener" life. While we have always recycled, when Ashtyn was born and we started using gDiapers, a whole new world opened up to us. Then when we moved to PA and started Butter Valley Harvest, our knowledge expanded, as we pursued greener ways of building and running the greenhouse. Growing hydroponically has introduced us to other people who are interested in healthy living, buying local food, etc. Some of my friends laugh at me and my reusable grocery bags and ask me when I became a hippie. But really, it's all about my family. I've realized the advantages to my children when I buy local food (healthier, fresher), eliminate chemicals from our cleaners and detergents and diapers (I don't miss those smells at all!), and do what I can to preserve the earth for their grandchildren. Our motivation isn't so much "save the earth" as it is to do the best we can for our girls and their future and to care for the earth as God told Adam in the Garden of Eden. It just so happens that things that are better for my girls are better for the planet. It's amazing how little steps open doors into a whole new world. I have learned so much!
In Butter Valley Harvest news, we opened a market on the farm back in April. We are open two days a week, and do a steady business. Ryan's mom generally runs the market on Wednesday afternoons, and we spend most Saturdays on the farm. While we have hired one person part-time, I look forward to the day when we can count on non-family members to run the market.
One of the biggest obstacles to feeling settled has been a lack of sleep. Ashtyn has always been a pretty good sleeper (though naps are becoming an issue), but as many of you know, Ryleigh has really struggled since she was about 18 months old with a variety of issues, from confusional arousal to more severe night terrors. We were repeatedly told not to worry, that she would grow out of it. This summer, we noticed that she would hold her breath in the middle of these episodes. We finally saw a pediatric sleep specialist, a blood test revealed an iron deficiency which is at least part of the problem (contributes to Restless Leg Syndrome), and we are awaiting a sleep study in March (or sooner if there's a cancellation). We are excited to finally be getting some answers and appreciate your continued prayers for Ryleigh and her tired parents. (BTW, one of the things I read was that at least 25% of children diagnosed with ADHD are actually suffering from iron deficiency or other sleep disorders that cause them to act out because they are overtired. I totally get that!)
So it's been another crazy year in the Ehst household. But I love my girls more every day, I'm still learning and growing (although not necessarily in ways I would have predicted), and despite my frustrations and emotional fluctuations, God is still in control and on the throne. May you know the peace that passes all understanding this Christmas. And may you be showered with blessings in 2010.
I celebrated my 4th birthday at the beach in August with my parents and sister, Grandma and Grandpa Bechtel, Uncle Ben, Jaime, and Aunt Sarah and Uncle Andrew. Daddy forgot the decorator for my cupcakes, so we fingerpainted with the icing on the cupcakes instead. I was glad he forgot Mommy's decorator! I was a little afraid of the waves at the beach, but not as afraid as Ashtyn.
I like to be at school and play with my friend Lauren. I'm in the Pre-K class at Bally Community Preschool now, three days a week. I like to play with the farm, puppies, and blocks. I also like when Poppa or Grandma or Daddy picks me up from school sometimes, because that usually mean something special, like a date with Daddy or lunch at the farm. I like to be the Helper of the Day at school, but I also get excited for my friends when it's their turn.
I started walking and running, trying desperately to keep up with Ryleigh. She's fast! And I stopped taking two naps a day at some point, which was more traumatic for Mommy than it was for me.
My big sister goes to school three days a week, and I really miss her while she's away. Mommy and I usually go grocery shopping one of those days, and that pretty well fills up the morning. Sometimes it's nice to have Mommy and all the toys all to myself, but I'm always excited to go pick Ryleigh up from school. I also love to help Mommy take the clothes out of the washer and put them into the dryer. I can identify most of our family's laundry and who it belongs to.